Hating people is like burning down your own house to get rid of a rat. ~Henry Emerson Fosdick
Some people believe that in order to process an event or a frustration that they have to talk about it. There is a fine line between catharsis and dwelling on the negative though. If you find yourself frequently retelling the same negative story over and over again, you are not getting it out of your system; you are culturing it and allowing the negativity to fester. Even retelling it once may be allowing it to fester. This does nothing to fix the problem and it brings you down.
Don’t allow external events to bring you down. No one has the power to hurt you emotionally, no matter what they do, unless you let them. Dwelling on unfortunate events or people only hurts you, and it does nothing to them.
If you find yourself returning to thoughts that don’t make you feel good, set them aside and focus on more positive thoughts. It may help you to listen to a song that you find uplifting, watching a happy movie or reading something positive.
This is not to say that grieving isn’t ever appropriate. Grieving is always appropriate under certain circumstances. The problem arises when that fear or pain overrides your ability to function in the long-term. It was a difficult road for me, but after a lot of emotional turmoil, I realized that it’s a mental thing and entirely within my ability to control. I don’t have to allow the things that happen to me to control how I feel, and neither does anyone else. If you are dwelling on things that don’t make you feel good, you are allowing those external influences to destroy your peace. If you want peace, you have to impose it in spite of those things. It may take practice, but you can do it.
Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You
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