With consciousness we have created very beautiful concepts, and one of them is the idea of relationships.
Whatever we create, whatever we discover is to make life more comfortable, beautiful, peaceful and happy. We invest our mental, spiritual and psychic energies in building relationships.
The first relationship has to be with you. You must have a very clear relationship with yourself, knowing why you feel the way you do, why you think in a particular way and so on. The first step is to be aware of your own self.
Second, why do we want a relationship? Is it for happiness, for security? If that is so, the best source of what we call happiness and security is the Divine. So establish a relationship with the Divine. What is Divinity? Divinity is present everywhere, also in those you consider close to you. And having a close relationship with your psyche can give you everything you need.
In daily life, how do you find divinity in your spouse or companion, for instance? Be sincere and faithful. The key is to give without expectation. These things are possible if your understanding is healthy, if your consciousness is full of light and brightness.
How are relationships established? Even hunger can create relationships: you enter into relationships with food, don’t you? Grow with relationships, and at the same time remember that all possibilities are inside, they are not coming from the outside, what you are looking for outside you is inside you.
Your body is like a television set. It displays visuals all the time. So when you display negative things, it is in your hands to change the channel.
When we do meditation we are feeding the soul, and when you feel the hunger of your soul then constant meditation begins, and it becomes effortless. When your stomach is empty, all you think of is food, all your being is looking for food, but when you are full you don’t think about food at all.
The food for the soul is the Divine. Right now we are making an effort to remember the Divine, but when we start feeling the hunger, we will not have to make any effort; it will come naturally.
Aurobindo gives this concept of Divine life: he didn’t say that life is an illusion, that we have to run away from life, or go to the Himalayas. He just said that life is beautiful, and the future of life is life divine, sooner or later, when the psychic hunger starts. And life divine means that here, in this world, with these situations we have to awaken to the hunger of our being, listen and find that hunger. When we do that we will start seeing the Divine everywhere. Then there will be no ego.
Relationships sour primarily due to ego. Use your ego. But do not allow your ego to use you. It is a tool, if you know how to use it, it will build you and give you many wonderful things.
If the ego is using you, you will see ego everywhere. Only ego sees ego. Ego is without substance: a lack of knowledge, a lack of light. Hate is too much love. You never hate someone you don’t know. We call it hate but hate has also substance of love there. It is too much connection.
Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You
Sunday
Secrets Of Being Happy Read It Slowly and Under stand it it is going to change you.....
Whichever way you have ‘become’, you have only created and cultivated a small part of it consciously.
A large part of you is unconscious because most of what you perceive is not in your awareness. Sense perception is like that – everything that goes in through your sense organs gets established in your system to be remembered forever. This is karma. Every impression that the five sense organs take in is stored. This is not against you; this information is useful. If you clean up all this information, you will not know how to handle even the simplest aspects of life.
It is only because the information is coming in such torrents, it is so complex, and most of it goes into you without your consciousness so it has become a problem. How you became the way you are is just a tendency that you developed because of the information you gathered. This tendency is traditionally called vasana. It is like a smell. Whatever is there in maximum quantity is the kind of smell you experience. Because you produce this kind of smell, a certain type of life moves towards you, and you also tend to move in that direction.
Now, you use perfume to cover the smell. In the first meeting, people may get deceived. The moment they notice the stink, they are going to run away. Is that the way to live?
So it doesn’t matter what impressions you have gathered, what you make of it is in your hands. An unpleasant experience is carried by most like a badge, always talking about it. “This happened; somebody did this to me, that’s why i’m like this.” They try to cover all their unpleasantness with this one badge.
One basic symbolism in yoga and Indian spirituality has always been a lotus. This is essentially because a lotus grows best wherever there is dirt. Either you can resist the dirt; you can become the dirt, or transform it into a wonderful blossom. It’s your choice.
If unpleasant things have happened to you, it is all the more important that you turn wiser and more beautiful as quick as possible, because you know the pain of unpleasantness. If unpleasant things have happened, all you have to do is see how such things do not happen again to you or to those around you. Whatever you are right now is your own creation, perhaps an unconscious one. Unconscious processing of your impressions has landed you where you are now. If you consciously process the impressions, you could turn them into something else.
To drop your vasanas, and get released from these tendencies is an endless work because in the process you may end up creating more karma. So, instead of trying to erase the smell, you need to distance yourself from the source.
Whatever the nature of karma, the recording mechanisms are only two – your body and mind. If you create little space between you and your physical body and mental structure, then whatever the karma, or vasanas, they have no impact on you. Then, they just die.
The choice is yours – you could be a victim, a spectator, or the master of your life.
Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You
A large part of you is unconscious because most of what you perceive is not in your awareness. Sense perception is like that – everything that goes in through your sense organs gets established in your system to be remembered forever. This is karma. Every impression that the five sense organs take in is stored. This is not against you; this information is useful. If you clean up all this information, you will not know how to handle even the simplest aspects of life.
It is only because the information is coming in such torrents, it is so complex, and most of it goes into you without your consciousness so it has become a problem. How you became the way you are is just a tendency that you developed because of the information you gathered. This tendency is traditionally called vasana. It is like a smell. Whatever is there in maximum quantity is the kind of smell you experience. Because you produce this kind of smell, a certain type of life moves towards you, and you also tend to move in that direction.
Now, you use perfume to cover the smell. In the first meeting, people may get deceived. The moment they notice the stink, they are going to run away. Is that the way to live?
So it doesn’t matter what impressions you have gathered, what you make of it is in your hands. An unpleasant experience is carried by most like a badge, always talking about it. “This happened; somebody did this to me, that’s why i’m like this.” They try to cover all their unpleasantness with this one badge.
One basic symbolism in yoga and Indian spirituality has always been a lotus. This is essentially because a lotus grows best wherever there is dirt. Either you can resist the dirt; you can become the dirt, or transform it into a wonderful blossom. It’s your choice.
If unpleasant things have happened to you, it is all the more important that you turn wiser and more beautiful as quick as possible, because you know the pain of unpleasantness. If unpleasant things have happened, all you have to do is see how such things do not happen again to you or to those around you. Whatever you are right now is your own creation, perhaps an unconscious one. Unconscious processing of your impressions has landed you where you are now. If you consciously process the impressions, you could turn them into something else.
To drop your vasanas, and get released from these tendencies is an endless work because in the process you may end up creating more karma. So, instead of trying to erase the smell, you need to distance yourself from the source.
Whatever the nature of karma, the recording mechanisms are only two – your body and mind. If you create little space between you and your physical body and mental structure, then whatever the karma, or vasanas, they have no impact on you. Then, they just die.
The choice is yours – you could be a victim, a spectator, or the master of your life.
Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You
Scriptural psychotherapy and happiness
Explaining the last chapter of the Uddhav Gita, which is part of the Srimad Bhagavatam, Swami Visharadanand of Prashanti Kutiram, Bangalore, commented that Indian scriptures give deep insights into psychotherapy: “All unhappiness is born out of psychological condition of mind called vritis or modifications.”
Four such conditions of mind are: spardha or competition, asuya or jealousy, tiraskar or hatred and ahankar or ego. These four vritis destroy our happiness.
Normally, competition normally occurs among equals.
Jealousy is felt towards those who are thought to be better off than or `superior’ to us, and
hatred or contempt is directed towards those we think are `inferior’ to us.
Ego is in respect of self. Ego is a feeling that I am someone special.
What is wrong in competing; doesn’t it lead to progress? Swamiji replied: Competition brings about the attitude of ‘doing something only to win’ rather than ‘excelling to bring out your best potential’. When ‘winning’ and not ‘doing the best possible’ is the attitude, it may also lead to use of unfair means as also compromise on quality of work input.
Jealousy is a counterproductive attitude of mind because it prevents a person from seeing good qualities in another person. If someone is wise, a jealous person may think he is a hypocrite, and so not learn from the other’s virtues. Hatred and contempt are also negative emotions.
Ego makes you do things only to win approval of others. If such approval does not come once in a while then the mind is disturbed and that makes an egoistic person very unhappy. “When all others appreciated my work, why did that fellow not do so?”-- This is a typical reaction that prevents one from experiencing peace and happiness.
What, then, is the solution for removing such negative emotions from one’s mind?
One must feel samatvam or oneness to overcome competition, jealousy and hatred.
And one must understand the true nature of atma, that is, sat-chit-ananda, to overcome the ego.
The same atma is the indweller of the body of all other persons, whose outward forms may be different. If you understand the real nature of atma as the creator of this entire Universe, where is the need for you to feel superior or inferior to others and be egoistic? Also, where is the need to get approval of others in order to be happy?
It is not easy, however, for everyone to remain with this understanding of soul-consciousness versus body-consciousness. What then is the way out? The Uddhav Gita gives the road map to reach this stage. First of all, you have to keep doing your given duty to the best of your capacity without ulterior motive, ego or ‘doer-ship’. This is the path of Karma Yoga. This then will lead to purity of mind which is absolutely essential for enlightenment.
After achieving a near-pure mind you could get on to the path of devotion and trust in God, known as Bhakti Yoga. Soon after that you might spontaneously begin to feel the oneness of all beings and supreme love for all, which is the ultimate bliss that one could ever hope to achieve in this world. It is a state of long lasting bliss which can also be carried forward from this birth to the next birth also, as promised by Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita.
Taken from Speaking Tree
Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You
Four such conditions of mind are: spardha or competition, asuya or jealousy, tiraskar or hatred and ahankar or ego. These four vritis destroy our happiness.
Normally, competition normally occurs among equals.
Jealousy is felt towards those who are thought to be better off than or `superior’ to us, and
hatred or contempt is directed towards those we think are `inferior’ to us.
Ego is in respect of self. Ego is a feeling that I am someone special.
What is wrong in competing; doesn’t it lead to progress? Swamiji replied: Competition brings about the attitude of ‘doing something only to win’ rather than ‘excelling to bring out your best potential’. When ‘winning’ and not ‘doing the best possible’ is the attitude, it may also lead to use of unfair means as also compromise on quality of work input.
Jealousy is a counterproductive attitude of mind because it prevents a person from seeing good qualities in another person. If someone is wise, a jealous person may think he is a hypocrite, and so not learn from the other’s virtues. Hatred and contempt are also negative emotions.
Ego makes you do things only to win approval of others. If such approval does not come once in a while then the mind is disturbed and that makes an egoistic person very unhappy. “When all others appreciated my work, why did that fellow not do so?”-- This is a typical reaction that prevents one from experiencing peace and happiness.
What, then, is the solution for removing such negative emotions from one’s mind?
One must feel samatvam or oneness to overcome competition, jealousy and hatred.
And one must understand the true nature of atma, that is, sat-chit-ananda, to overcome the ego.
The same atma is the indweller of the body of all other persons, whose outward forms may be different. If you understand the real nature of atma as the creator of this entire Universe, where is the need for you to feel superior or inferior to others and be egoistic? Also, where is the need to get approval of others in order to be happy?
It is not easy, however, for everyone to remain with this understanding of soul-consciousness versus body-consciousness. What then is the way out? The Uddhav Gita gives the road map to reach this stage. First of all, you have to keep doing your given duty to the best of your capacity without ulterior motive, ego or ‘doer-ship’. This is the path of Karma Yoga. This then will lead to purity of mind which is absolutely essential for enlightenment.
After achieving a near-pure mind you could get on to the path of devotion and trust in God, known as Bhakti Yoga. Soon after that you might spontaneously begin to feel the oneness of all beings and supreme love for all, which is the ultimate bliss that one could ever hope to achieve in this world. It is a state of long lasting bliss which can also be carried forward from this birth to the next birth also, as promised by Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita.
Taken from Speaking Tree
Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You
What we really need is lots of love
We sometimes think: why are we so greedy for land and property, why are we motivated by political desires?
Sometimes it’s hard to love like this. We should not detest the diseased. We should try to rid the disease because all living creatures are connected with one another. If we cannot love the violent, cruel-hearted, hateful and the envious, then we cannot love anyone.
Just as iron is naturally attracted to a magnet, the soul of every living being is naturally attracted to God, who is like a supreme magnet. Then why do so many engage in ungodly activities? Just as a piece of iron covered by dust or rust is not attracted to a magnet, the soul covered by lust, greed, envy, pride, anger and illusion is not attracted to God.
So, people are diseased, but we should love the one who is suffering from this disease. People are ruining their lives because their pure consciousness is obscured by illusion and ignorance. When it is night, it is difficult to see what is what, who is who, where we are. Ignorance means you do not know. Ignorance is due to darkness, but as soon as the sun rises, everything is revealed as it is. Similarly, when the light within us is allowed to shine, all ignorance is dispelled.
The sun of knowledge, God, is within all of us. Then why are we in darkness? Simply because we cannot perceive His presence. When there are dark clouds, you cannot see the sun. So the cloud of ignorance, which is the root disease which creates all the symptoms in the form of unwanted activities and thoughts, is covering the pure light of the Divine within us.
Yoga is a means to dissipate this cloud and allow the sun of love, the sun of peace, the pure light of the divine presence of the Lord within our hearts to shine and give light to everyone. The supreme occupation of all humanity is to give light to the world, not to contribute to the darkness. If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem.
It is the duty of each one of us – it is the highest expression of love – to purify our own hearts. If you do not have something, how can you give it to others? You can only give what you have. What we need is not more technology, not more scientific research. This world doesn’t need more food. There’s plenty of food, but it’s being dumped in the ocean or buried under the ground. What we need is love. If we do not have love, what can we give? We will simply remain a part of the problem.
Therefore, purification of the heart is the divine responsibility of each one of us. When our hearts are pure like the sun, love will emanate in all directions for everyone. Does the sun discriminate that this is a dragonfly, this is a dog, this is a Native American, this is an Indian, this is a businessman, and this is the president of the United States? No.
The pure heart shines love all around in the same way as the sun. When we purify our hearts, we transcend all boundaries of sectarianism, all boundaries of selfishness, and we can be the true servant, well-wisher and friend of every living being.
Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You
Sometimes it’s hard to love like this. We should not detest the diseased. We should try to rid the disease because all living creatures are connected with one another. If we cannot love the violent, cruel-hearted, hateful and the envious, then we cannot love anyone.
Just as iron is naturally attracted to a magnet, the soul of every living being is naturally attracted to God, who is like a supreme magnet. Then why do so many engage in ungodly activities? Just as a piece of iron covered by dust or rust is not attracted to a magnet, the soul covered by lust, greed, envy, pride, anger and illusion is not attracted to God.
So, people are diseased, but we should love the one who is suffering from this disease. People are ruining their lives because their pure consciousness is obscured by illusion and ignorance. When it is night, it is difficult to see what is what, who is who, where we are. Ignorance means you do not know. Ignorance is due to darkness, but as soon as the sun rises, everything is revealed as it is. Similarly, when the light within us is allowed to shine, all ignorance is dispelled.
The sun of knowledge, God, is within all of us. Then why are we in darkness? Simply because we cannot perceive His presence. When there are dark clouds, you cannot see the sun. So the cloud of ignorance, which is the root disease which creates all the symptoms in the form of unwanted activities and thoughts, is covering the pure light of the Divine within us.
Yoga is a means to dissipate this cloud and allow the sun of love, the sun of peace, the pure light of the divine presence of the Lord within our hearts to shine and give light to everyone. The supreme occupation of all humanity is to give light to the world, not to contribute to the darkness. If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem.
It is the duty of each one of us – it is the highest expression of love – to purify our own hearts. If you do not have something, how can you give it to others? You can only give what you have. What we need is not more technology, not more scientific research. This world doesn’t need more food. There’s plenty of food, but it’s being dumped in the ocean or buried under the ground. What we need is love. If we do not have love, what can we give? We will simply remain a part of the problem.
Therefore, purification of the heart is the divine responsibility of each one of us. When our hearts are pure like the sun, love will emanate in all directions for everyone. Does the sun discriminate that this is a dragonfly, this is a dog, this is a Native American, this is an Indian, this is a businessman, and this is the president of the United States? No.
The pure heart shines love all around in the same way as the sun. When we purify our hearts, we transcend all boundaries of sectarianism, all boundaries of selfishness, and we can be the true servant, well-wisher and friend of every living being.
Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You
Saturday
Scriptural psychotherapy and happiness
Explaining the last chapter of the Uddhav Gita, which is part of the Srimad Bhagavatam, Swami Visharadanand of Prashanti Kutiram, Bangalore, commented that Indian scriptures give deep insights into psychotherapy: “All unhappiness is born out of psychological condition of mind called vritis or modifications.” Four such conditions of mind are: spardha or competition, asuya or jealousy, tiraskar or hatred and ahankar or ego. These four vritis destroy our happiness.
Normally, competition normally occurs among equals. Jealousy is felt towards those who are thought to be better off than or `superior’ to us, and hatred or contempt is directed towards those we think are `inferior’ to us. Ego is in respect of self. Ego is a feeling that I am someone special.
What is wrong in competing; doesn’t it lead to progress? Swamiji replied: Competition brings about the attitude of ‘doing something only to win’ rather than ‘excelling to bring out your best potential’. When ‘winning’ and not ‘doing the best possible’ is the attitude, it may also lead to use of unfair means as also compromise on quality of work input.
Jealousy is a counterproductive attitude of mind because it prevents a person from seeing good qualities in another person. If someone is wise, a jealous person may think he is a hypocrite, and so not learn from the other’s virtues. Hatred and contempt are also negative emotions. Ego makes you do things only to win approval of others. If such approval does not come once in a while then the mind is disturbed and that makes an egoistic person very unhappy. “When all others appreciated my work, why did that fellow not do so?”-- This is a typical reaction that prevents one from experiencing peace and happiness.
What, then, is the solution for removing such negative emotions from one’s mind? One must feel samatvam or oneness to overcome competition, jealousy and hatred. And one must understand the true nature of atma, that is, sat-chit-ananda, to overcome the ego. The same atma is the indweller of the body of all other persons, whose outward forms may be different. If you understand the real nature of atma as the creator of this entire Universe, where is the need for you to feel superior or inferior to others and be egoistic? Also, where is the need to get approval of others in order to be happy?
It is not easy, however, for everyone to remain with this understanding of soul-consciousness versus body-consciousness. What then is the way out? The Uddhav Gita gives the road map to reach this stage. First of all, you have to keep doing your given duty to the best of your capacity without ulterior motive, ego or ‘doer-ship’. This is the path of Karma Yoga. This then will lead to purity of mind which is absolutely essential for enlightenment.
After achieving a near-pure mind you could get on to the path of devotion and trust in God, known as Bhakti Yoga. Soon after that you might spontaneously begin to feel the oneness of all beings and supreme love for all, which is the ultimate bliss that one could ever hope to achieve in this world. It is a state of long lasting bliss which can also be carried forward from this birth to the next birth also, as promised by Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita.
Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You
The three nobilities
The two aspects to remember are: Firstly, keep secret your mantra recitation and its result. Secondly, be mindful not to speak to others who are not Dharma practitioners about your practice and accrued benefit. If we are not mindful of this, the result will not be perfect due to many forces that may be counter-productive.
The three nobilities are as important as your yearning to achieve the result by reciting the specific mantra.
The first nobility is called Bodhichitta, which is ‘Awakened Mind.’ It means generation of a special motivation to benefit all sentient beings with the virtues being accumulated. This motivation should be generated prior to any kind of virtuous practice. You can read this line to motivate yourself for the benefit of all:
"I will benefit all sentient beings bestowing them with eternal bliss and qualities."
The second nobility is called Non-Objectifying Wisdom. It means whatever virtue is accumulated or practiced, it's done without any sense of desires clinging to the mind. This, in other words, is called primordial awareness and is maintained during the main practice itself.
One should be fully aware without any clinging or self-centric desires such as, ‘I am the one who practices this virtue’ or ‘this is the virtue I'm practising and for them I practise.’ In fact, one should cut out such thoughts from the mind stream. When the mind is devoid of such discriminative thoughts, all emotions naturally calm down. It is therefore called Non-Objectifying Wisdom, the true and primordial awareness of all beings.
The third nobility is called Dedication. It means whatever virtue has been accumulated, for example, by chanting and reciting the mantra, it is dedicated to bringing to sentient beings whatever benefit is possible to rid them of their suffering and bringing them happiness. Usually, the dedication prayer is chanted only after the virtuous practice.
Chant this line as a dedication prayer: "Gewa Ma-ghen Drodug Kunla Ngo” - which means “May all motherly sentient beings attain enlightenment through the power of all the virtues I might have accumulated by chanting and reciting the mantra."
It is of crucial importance to feel what other beings need. Feel what you need. To our surprise we will discover that the need and requirement are one and the same, that is, happiness. Each and every being needs nothing more than happiness.
So it is with us. Therefore all sentient beings are similar and even the same. However, remember that just like us, other sentient beings too get trapped in the net of suffering, pains, torture, afflictions and emotions. Now feel and chant this: “May all sentient beings be free from sufferings and its causes.” This is the real definition of compassion.
Extend this practice further from one being to two and four - for instance from your family and then to the neighbourhood, to your town and other towns, cities and to country -- and further towards all sentient beings.
Practice this daily and see the result. Don’t forget that Dharma belongs to nobody. It comes to those who endeavour the most. So begin, now.
The author is a practitioner of Nyingma Buddhism
Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You
Characteristic of love...
A certain man planted a rose and watered it faithfully and before it blossomed, he examined it.
He saw the bud that would soon blossom, but noticed thorns upon the stem and he thought, "How can any beautiful flower come from a plant burdened with so many sharp thorns? Saddened by this thought, he neglected to water the rose, and just before it was ready to bloom... it died.
So it is with many people. Within every soul there is a rose. The God-like qualities planted in us at birth, grow amid the thorns of our faults. Many of us look at ourselves and see only the thorns, the defects.
We despair, thinking that nothing good can possibly come from us. We neglect to water the good within us, and eventually it dies. We never realize our potential.
Some people do not see the rose within themselves; someone else must show it to them. One of the greatest gifts a person can possess is to be able to reach past the thorns of another, and find the rose within them.
This is one of the characteristic of love... to look at a person, know their true faults and accepting that person into your life... all the while recognizing the nobility in their soul. Help others to realize they can overcome their faults. If we show them the "rose" within themselves, they will conquer their thorns. Only then will they blossom many times over.
Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You
Friday
Share thy Knowledge
Sharing is good. Sharing relieves your stress. It helps you to know many things which you don’t know. Sharing makes you aware with many things in the world. Sharing makes your thought process more strong and gets different insights. You can actually get good tips to make your life better. Lots of incidents happened around us. But do we care? Do we learn from these incidences? I doubt. Sharing relieves your stress and gives you the strength to survive. Sharing improves the communication. It improves interpersonal relations. Sharing is sometimes draining and making mind empty for new thought.
There are people who do not share. They just block everything with them. If you are sharing with your parents or wife, you are relieving and getting something from them. Somebody proudly says, “I don’t share small things with my wife”. Share makes the relations more strong. Fear restricts sharing. Fear of getting fired, fear of losing knowledge, fear of making somebody more strong. “If I shared my knowledge with somebody, then who will ask me”. Is the major fear people have. Insecurity of losing something is the major problem.
Off course, sharing is two way process.
In one company, someone had a big team of HR professionals. His colleague was very resourceful person .He recruited him for supporting him to implement Balanced Score Card in the organization. When he joined he took one initiative. When all HR colleagues come to the office, we would extend the morning meeting for 15 minutes and everybody would share any incident, professional, personal, which impacted his life. The incident could be anything. After one month few team members were not ready at all to stay for these sharing giving different excuses. What can be the reason?
Why to share personal issues? Somebody may say. Right, one should not share personal matters unless the person is trustworthy. After completion my degree, I attended one workshop. During the workshop one person who was a senior administrator shared his personal story with the group when the trainer asked to share experiences with group. After the class, few members were making the fun of that story.
We had one senior in my earlier organization. He used to conduct long meetings in the organization without any results. Once he asked to share personal experiences to every team member on decision making. On another occasion, he asked to share the incident which make member tough. He insisted that the sharing should be from personal life. All team members were reluctant to share their personal experiences. They were ok with professional experience. Most of the members cooked good stories and shared. This guy was more interested to become personal by asking such sharing. His intention was to identify the weak points of the person and use them when required.
Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You
There are people who do not share. They just block everything with them. If you are sharing with your parents or wife, you are relieving and getting something from them. Somebody proudly says, “I don’t share small things with my wife”. Share makes the relations more strong. Fear restricts sharing. Fear of getting fired, fear of losing knowledge, fear of making somebody more strong. “If I shared my knowledge with somebody, then who will ask me”. Is the major fear people have. Insecurity of losing something is the major problem.
Off course, sharing is two way process.
In one company, someone had a big team of HR professionals. His colleague was very resourceful person .He recruited him for supporting him to implement Balanced Score Card in the organization. When he joined he took one initiative. When all HR colleagues come to the office, we would extend the morning meeting for 15 minutes and everybody would share any incident, professional, personal, which impacted his life. The incident could be anything. After one month few team members were not ready at all to stay for these sharing giving different excuses. What can be the reason?
Why to share personal issues? Somebody may say. Right, one should not share personal matters unless the person is trustworthy. After completion my degree, I attended one workshop. During the workshop one person who was a senior administrator shared his personal story with the group when the trainer asked to share experiences with group. After the class, few members were making the fun of that story.
We had one senior in my earlier organization. He used to conduct long meetings in the organization without any results. Once he asked to share personal experiences to every team member on decision making. On another occasion, he asked to share the incident which make member tough. He insisted that the sharing should be from personal life. All team members were reluctant to share their personal experiences. They were ok with professional experience. Most of the members cooked good stories and shared. This guy was more interested to become personal by asking such sharing. His intention was to identify the weak points of the person and use them when required.
Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You
Filter your mind..........and have a clean life
"How do I stop my negative thoughts?" - is a question that I have been asked many times. If you have ever asked this question then you will feel such enormous relief in knowing the answer, because it is so simple. How do you stop negative thoughts? You plant good thoughts!
When you try to stop negative thoughts, you are focusing on what you don't want - negative thoughts - and you will attract an abundance of them. They can never disappear if you are focused on them.
The "stop" part is irrelevant - the negative thoughts are your focus. It doesn't matter if you are trying to stop negative thoughts or control them or push them away, the result is the same. Your focus is on negative thoughts, and by the law of attraction you are inviting more of them to you.
The truth is always simple and it is always easy. To stop negative thoughts, just plant good thoughts! Deliberately plant good thoughts! You plant good thoughts by making it a daily practice to appreciate all the things in your day. Appreciate your health, your car, your home, your family, your job, your friends, your surroundings, your meals, your pets, and the magnificent beauty of the day. Compliment, praise, and give thanks to all things. Every time you say "Thank you" it is a good thought! As you plant more and more good thoughts, the negative thoughts will be wiped out. Why? Because your focus is on good thoughts, and what you focus on you attract.
So don't give any attention to negative thoughts. Don't worry about them. If any come, make light of them, shrug them off, and let them be your reminder to deliberately think more good thoughts now.
Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You
When you try to stop negative thoughts, you are focusing on what you don't want - negative thoughts - and you will attract an abundance of them. They can never disappear if you are focused on them.
The "stop" part is irrelevant - the negative thoughts are your focus. It doesn't matter if you are trying to stop negative thoughts or control them or push them away, the result is the same. Your focus is on negative thoughts, and by the law of attraction you are inviting more of them to you.
The truth is always simple and it is always easy. To stop negative thoughts, just plant good thoughts! Deliberately plant good thoughts! You plant good thoughts by making it a daily practice to appreciate all the things in your day. Appreciate your health, your car, your home, your family, your job, your friends, your surroundings, your meals, your pets, and the magnificent beauty of the day. Compliment, praise, and give thanks to all things. Every time you say "Thank you" it is a good thought! As you plant more and more good thoughts, the negative thoughts will be wiped out. Why? Because your focus is on good thoughts, and what you focus on you attract.
So don't give any attention to negative thoughts. Don't worry about them. If any come, make light of them, shrug them off, and let them be your reminder to deliberately think more good thoughts now.
Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You
Three Laughing Budhas The Story Behind
It has to be understood that there are three types of laughter.
1.
The first is when you laugh at someone else. This is the meanest, the lowest, the most ordinary and vulgar when you laugh at the expense of somebody else.
This is the violent, the aggressive, the insulting type. Deep down this laughter there is always a feeling of revenge.
2.
"The second type of laughter is when you laugh at yourself. This is worth achieving. This is cultured. And
this man is valuable who can laugh at himself. He has risen above vulgarity. He has risen above lowly
instincts -- hatred, aggression, violence.
3.
"And the third is the last -- the highest. This is not about anybody -- neither the other nor oneself.
The third is just Cosmic. You laugh at the whole situation as it is. The whole situation, as it is, is absurd
-- no purpose in the future, no beginning in the beginning. The whole situation of Existence is such
that if you can see the Whole -- such a great infinite vastness moving toward no fixed purpose, no
goal -- laughter will arise. So much is going on without leading anywhere; nobody is there in the
past to create it; nobody is there in the end to finish it. Such is whole Cosmos -- moving so
beautifully, so systematically, so rationally. If you can see this whole Cosmos, then a laughter is
inevitable.
Now the Laughing Budhas.....
"I have heard about three monks. No names are mentioned, because they never disclosed their names to
anybody. They never answered anything. In China, they are simply known as the three laughing monks.
And they did only one thing: they would enter a village, stand in the market place and start laughing.
They would laugh with their whole being and suddenly people would become aware. Then others would also
get the infection and a crowd would gather. The whole crowd would start laughing just because of them. What was happening? The whole town would get involved. Then they would move to another town.
"They were loved very much. That was their only sermon, their only message; that laugh. And they would
not teach; they would simply create a situation.
"Then it happened that they became famous all over the country. Three laughing monks. All of China loved
them, respected them. Nobody had ever preached in such a way that life must be just a laughter and
nothing else. They were not laughing at anyone in particular. They were simply laughing as if they had
understood the Cosmic joke. And they spread so much joy all over China without using a single word. People would ask for their names, but they would simply laugh. So that became their name -- the three laughing monks.
"Then they grew old. And while staying in one village. one of the three monks died. The whole village
became very much expectant because they thought that when one of them had died, the other two would surely weep. This must be worth seeing because no one had ever seen these people weeping. The whole village gathered. But the two monks were standing beside the corpse of the third and laughing -- such a belly
laugh. So the villagers asked them to explain this.
"So for the first time, the two monks spoke and said, 'We are laughing because this man has won.
We were always wondering as to who would die first and this man has defeated us. We are laughing at our
defeat and his victory. Also he lived with us for many years and we laughed together and we enjoyed each
other's togetherness, presence.
There can be no better way of giving him the last send off. We can only laugh.
"But the whole village was sad. And when the dead monk's body was put on the funeral pyre, then the village
realized that the remaining two monks were not the only ones who were joking, the third who was dead
was also laughing. He had asked his companions not to change his clothes. It was conventional that
when a man died they changed his dress and gave a bath to the body.
So the third monk had said, 'Don't give me a bath because I have never been unclean. So much laughter has
been in my life that no impurity can accumulate, can come to me. I have not gathered any dust. Laughter is
always young and fresh. So don't give me a bath and don't change my clothes.'
"So just to respect his wishes, they did not change his clothes. And when the body was put to fire, suddenly
they became aware that he had hidden some Chinese fire-works under his clothes and they had started going off. So the whole village laughed and the other two monks said: 'You rascal, you are dead, but you have defeated us once again. Your laughter is the last.'
"There is a Cosmic laughter which comes into being when the whole joke of this Cosmos is understood. That
is of the highest. And only a Buddha can laugh like that. These three monks must have been three Buddhas.
But if you can laugh the second type of laughter, that is also worth trying. Avoid the first. Don't laugh
at anyone's expense. That is ugly and violent. If you want to laugh, then laugh at yourself.
"That's why Mulla Nasruddin, in all his jokes and stories, always proves himself the stupid one, never
anybody else. He always laughs at himself and allows you to laugh at him. He never puts anybody else in
the situation of being foolish. Sufis say that Mulla Nasrudin is the wise fool. Learn at least that much
-- the second laughter.
"If you can learn the second, then the third will not be far ahead.
Soon you will reach the third. But leave the first type. That laughter is degrading. But almost ninety-nine
percent of your laughter is of the first type. Much courage is needed to laugh at oneself. Much confidence
is needed to laugh at oneself.
"For the spiritual seeker, even laughter should become a part of Sadhana. Remember to avoid the first
type of laughter. Remember to laugh the second. And remember to reach the third."
Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You
1.
The first is when you laugh at someone else. This is the meanest, the lowest, the most ordinary and vulgar when you laugh at the expense of somebody else.
This is the violent, the aggressive, the insulting type. Deep down this laughter there is always a feeling of revenge.
2.
"The second type of laughter is when you laugh at yourself. This is worth achieving. This is cultured. And
this man is valuable who can laugh at himself. He has risen above vulgarity. He has risen above lowly
instincts -- hatred, aggression, violence.
3.
"And the third is the last -- the highest. This is not about anybody -- neither the other nor oneself.
The third is just Cosmic. You laugh at the whole situation as it is. The whole situation, as it is, is absurd
-- no purpose in the future, no beginning in the beginning. The whole situation of Existence is such
that if you can see the Whole -- such a great infinite vastness moving toward no fixed purpose, no
goal -- laughter will arise. So much is going on without leading anywhere; nobody is there in the
past to create it; nobody is there in the end to finish it. Such is whole Cosmos -- moving so
beautifully, so systematically, so rationally. If you can see this whole Cosmos, then a laughter is
inevitable.
Now the Laughing Budhas.....
"I have heard about three monks. No names are mentioned, because they never disclosed their names to
anybody. They never answered anything. In China, they are simply known as the three laughing monks.
And they did only one thing: they would enter a village, stand in the market place and start laughing.
They would laugh with their whole being and suddenly people would become aware. Then others would also
get the infection and a crowd would gather. The whole crowd would start laughing just because of them. What was happening? The whole town would get involved. Then they would move to another town.
"They were loved very much. That was their only sermon, their only message; that laugh. And they would
not teach; they would simply create a situation.
"Then it happened that they became famous all over the country. Three laughing monks. All of China loved
them, respected them. Nobody had ever preached in such a way that life must be just a laughter and
nothing else. They were not laughing at anyone in particular. They were simply laughing as if they had
understood the Cosmic joke. And they spread so much joy all over China without using a single word. People would ask for their names, but they would simply laugh. So that became their name -- the three laughing monks.
"Then they grew old. And while staying in one village. one of the three monks died. The whole village
became very much expectant because they thought that when one of them had died, the other two would surely weep. This must be worth seeing because no one had ever seen these people weeping. The whole village gathered. But the two monks were standing beside the corpse of the third and laughing -- such a belly
laugh. So the villagers asked them to explain this.
"So for the first time, the two monks spoke and said, 'We are laughing because this man has won.
We were always wondering as to who would die first and this man has defeated us. We are laughing at our
defeat and his victory. Also he lived with us for many years and we laughed together and we enjoyed each
other's togetherness, presence.
There can be no better way of giving him the last send off. We can only laugh.
"But the whole village was sad. And when the dead monk's body was put on the funeral pyre, then the village
realized that the remaining two monks were not the only ones who were joking, the third who was dead
was also laughing. He had asked his companions not to change his clothes. It was conventional that
when a man died they changed his dress and gave a bath to the body.
So the third monk had said, 'Don't give me a bath because I have never been unclean. So much laughter has
been in my life that no impurity can accumulate, can come to me. I have not gathered any dust. Laughter is
always young and fresh. So don't give me a bath and don't change my clothes.'
"So just to respect his wishes, they did not change his clothes. And when the body was put to fire, suddenly
they became aware that he had hidden some Chinese fire-works under his clothes and they had started going off. So the whole village laughed and the other two monks said: 'You rascal, you are dead, but you have defeated us once again. Your laughter is the last.'
"There is a Cosmic laughter which comes into being when the whole joke of this Cosmos is understood. That
is of the highest. And only a Buddha can laugh like that. These three monks must have been three Buddhas.
But if you can laugh the second type of laughter, that is also worth trying. Avoid the first. Don't laugh
at anyone's expense. That is ugly and violent. If you want to laugh, then laugh at yourself.
"That's why Mulla Nasruddin, in all his jokes and stories, always proves himself the stupid one, never
anybody else. He always laughs at himself and allows you to laugh at him. He never puts anybody else in
the situation of being foolish. Sufis say that Mulla Nasrudin is the wise fool. Learn at least that much
-- the second laughter.
"If you can learn the second, then the third will not be far ahead.
Soon you will reach the third. But leave the first type. That laughter is degrading. But almost ninety-nine
percent of your laughter is of the first type. Much courage is needed to laugh at oneself. Much confidence
is needed to laugh at oneself.
"For the spiritual seeker, even laughter should become a part of Sadhana. Remember to avoid the first
type of laughter. Remember to laugh the second. And remember to reach the third."
Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You
Thursday
Sand and Stone
A story tells that two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand: "TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE."
They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one, who had been slapped, got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After the friend recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone: "TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE."
The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?"
The other friend replied: "When someone hurts us, we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."
LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND, AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE
Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You
They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one, who had been slapped, got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After the friend recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone: "TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE."
The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?"
The other friend replied: "When someone hurts us, we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."
LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND, AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE
Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You
Value
A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?"
Hands started going up.
He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this." He proceeded to crumple the dollar bill up.
He then asked, "Who still wants it?"
Still the hands were up in the air.
"Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.
He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty. "Now who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.
"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20.
Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way.
We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. You are special - Don't ever forget it!
Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You
THE OBSTACLE IN OUR PATH
In ancient times, a king had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it.
Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the big stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. On approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. As the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the king indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many others never understand.
Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve one's condition.
Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You
FRIENDSHIP AND LOVE
Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.
- Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you.
- Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.
- You can only go as far as you push.
- Actions speak louder than words.
- The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else.
- Don't let the past hold you back; you're missing the good stuff.
- Life's short. If you don't look around once in a while, you might miss it.
- A best friend is like a four leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have.
- If you think that the world means nothing, think again. You might mean the world to someone else.
- When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there
- True friendship never ends.
- Friends are forever.
- Good friends are like stars....You don't always see them, but you know they are always there.
- Don't frown. You never know who is falling in love with your smile.
- What do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the person who made you cry?
- NOBODY IS PERFECT UNTIL YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH THEM. (Isn't that the truth?)
- Everything is okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end.
- Most people walk in and out of you life. But only True friends leave footprints in your heart.
Send this on to everyone special in your life, even the people who really make you mad sometimes. Whether we realize it or not, everyone we know is very special to us.
When we look back on our younger years, we will remember the people who went to school with us, the people who made us laugh, the people who hung out with us when nobody else would, and the people who made our lives much better simply by being a part of it.
There may be somebody who is thinking about you RIGHT NOW and wishing that you were around. That's the wonderful thing about friendship-you always feel loved and cared about.
The most important thing to remember is... Always appreciate the friends that you have.
A fight may come and go very easily, but a friendship could last forever.
For every second spent in anger, a minute of happiness is wasted. So send this to your friends and let them know that you care.
Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You
GENEROSITY
Mahatma Gandhi went from city to city, village to village collecting funds for the Charkha Sangh. During one of his tours he addressed a meeting in Orissa. After his speech a poor old woman got up. She was bent with age, her hair was grey and her clothes were in tatters. The volunteers tried to stop her, but she fought her way to the place where Gandhiji was sitting. "I must see him," she insisted and going up to Gandhiji touched his feet. Then from the folds of her sari she brought out a copper coin and placed it at his feet. Gandhiji picked up the copper coin and put it away carefully. The Charkha Sangh funds were under the charge of Jamnalal Bajaj. He asked Gandhiji for the coin but Gandhiji refused. "I keep cheques worth thousands of rupees for the Charkha Sangh," Jamnalal Bajaj said laughingly "yet you won't trust me with a copper coin." "This copper coin is worth much more than those thousands," Gandhiji said. "If a man has several lakhs and he gives away a thousand or two, it doesn't mean much. But this coin was perhaps all that the poor woman possessed. She gave me all she had. That was very generous of her. What a great sacrifice she made. That is why I value this copper coin more than a crore of rupees."
Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You
Balance Of Physical growth and Spiritual Growth
We are talking about the proper balance between spiritual work, and physical activity. Many, many people who are on the physical plane and then get on the Spiritual Path feel that anything that they do on the physical is not holy, that they have to devote all their time and all their attention to working on the spiritual.
This is not true. They need to have both. Integration of the physical and the spiritual is needed. It is by this balance of the physical that seekers can proceed ahead spiritually. Otherwise, it may be very lopsided and; might be a false spirituality, an unbalanced spirituality.
The more seekers are physically grounded in the physical world, the higher they can grow spiritually. This is a duality that goes on all time. It is because you are physical beings that you need this physical work and activity to stay grounded, to stay balanced, to help you grow.
There cannot be a rise in spirituality without a corresponding rise in the physical.
There is a fine balance between the two. People can go overboard thinking they are going higher and becoming more spiritually evolved, when in essence if they are doing too much meditation or spiritual practices and not enough physical activity, it takes away from their spiritual growth and unbalances them, sets them back, detours them until the physical can catch up.
It is like the spiritual level goes very high and the physical level is lagging behind. This may cause bumps in the road.
Often sincere seekers who are on the metaphysical/spiritual path, feel they have to give up their jobs in order to do grow full time. Often those who have done this have become unbalanced. There needs to be a right amount of work in the physical level too.
Seekers may become very grounded by doing physical work. In the work place this is also true, because you are thrown in with all kinds of different people on all different levels.
The reason that this is good is that it strengthens one. It helps to come into other peoples' vibrations and to not just be with those who think like you, talk like you, and act like you.
It makes one stronger to come into contact with beings of different vibrations, some harmonious and some not. It teaches us how to function in these situations with humanity.
When the hard times hit, there will be many who are screaming for help. These may be the ones who have no spiritual basis, or knowledge, or experience.
It is time now to get in the flow of this stream of thinking. How will you relate to others like this?
If you remember back about Christ, He did not hide away and live in a cave and teach His disciples. He was out in the masses.
Yes, He did go away to get recharged spiritually, He needed His times alone, but then He came back out into the masses. He had the balance on both levels.
Physical work is balancing. One need not spend all of their time in spiritual processes. If a person goes out in the physical world as hard as it is, as uncomfortable as it is, this brings a greater strength and helps seekers go even higher even faster in their spiritual life, in their spiritual growth, in their spiritual practices.
This is an essential point because it is good to stay balanced, to be in the physical world, to be working on personal problems and blockages as they come up and not just bury them. To not to be in denial and say: "these things are not spiritual."
What is being said here is this: To grow Spiritually, it is also necessary to live in the real world and have both feet firmly planted on the ground.
This saying is funny and true: "Don't be so heavenly bound that you are no earthly good."
It is an appropriate statement. There has to be an equal balance in the physical world.
It is good to go about your business, go the grocery store, to work, pay bills, deal with people who are uncomfortable to deal with and yet keep going in your spiritual practices, in your relationship to God and your Spiritual Growth.
This duality brings inner connection and inner communion. God is with you all the time. It is most possible to be connected spiritually all the time, and yet be balanced in the physical world.
It is wise to not go overboard. Please realize that balance is the way to grow spiritually higher and faster.
Sometimes when people start on the Spiritual Path they tend to shun everything in the physical. This is a handicap to growing.
Too much meditation does not bring balance. You are physical beings in a physical world. You must deal with the reality of the physical world. This is why working keeps people grounded. This is also why doing things in the physical, whether it is house cleaning or lawn mowing, painting, washing dishes, taking a shower, working on the computer, etc. is
grounding.
This grounding brings integration and balance into the spiritual levels. The right amount of grounding brings wonderful balance and helps to bring one higher and faster to the spiritual levels that are being sought in the first place.
To be a part of the world but not of it, it is very important to stay grounded by not getting so unbalanced and detached that you are not residing on the planet.
Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You
This is not true. They need to have both. Integration of the physical and the spiritual is needed. It is by this balance of the physical that seekers can proceed ahead spiritually. Otherwise, it may be very lopsided and; might be a false spirituality, an unbalanced spirituality.
The more seekers are physically grounded in the physical world, the higher they can grow spiritually. This is a duality that goes on all time. It is because you are physical beings that you need this physical work and activity to stay grounded, to stay balanced, to help you grow.
There cannot be a rise in spirituality without a corresponding rise in the physical.
There is a fine balance between the two. People can go overboard thinking they are going higher and becoming more spiritually evolved, when in essence if they are doing too much meditation or spiritual practices and not enough physical activity, it takes away from their spiritual growth and unbalances them, sets them back, detours them until the physical can catch up.
It is like the spiritual level goes very high and the physical level is lagging behind. This may cause bumps in the road.
Often sincere seekers who are on the metaphysical/spiritual path, feel they have to give up their jobs in order to do grow full time. Often those who have done this have become unbalanced. There needs to be a right amount of work in the physical level too.
Seekers may become very grounded by doing physical work. In the work place this is also true, because you are thrown in with all kinds of different people on all different levels.
The reason that this is good is that it strengthens one. It helps to come into other peoples' vibrations and to not just be with those who think like you, talk like you, and act like you.
It makes one stronger to come into contact with beings of different vibrations, some harmonious and some not. It teaches us how to function in these situations with humanity.
When the hard times hit, there will be many who are screaming for help. These may be the ones who have no spiritual basis, or knowledge, or experience.
It is time now to get in the flow of this stream of thinking. How will you relate to others like this?
If you remember back about Christ, He did not hide away and live in a cave and teach His disciples. He was out in the masses.
Yes, He did go away to get recharged spiritually, He needed His times alone, but then He came back out into the masses. He had the balance on both levels.
Physical work is balancing. One need not spend all of their time in spiritual processes. If a person goes out in the physical world as hard as it is, as uncomfortable as it is, this brings a greater strength and helps seekers go even higher even faster in their spiritual life, in their spiritual growth, in their spiritual practices.
This is an essential point because it is good to stay balanced, to be in the physical world, to be working on personal problems and blockages as they come up and not just bury them. To not to be in denial and say: "these things are not spiritual."
What is being said here is this: To grow Spiritually, it is also necessary to live in the real world and have both feet firmly planted on the ground.
This saying is funny and true: "Don't be so heavenly bound that you are no earthly good."
It is an appropriate statement. There has to be an equal balance in the physical world.
It is good to go about your business, go the grocery store, to work, pay bills, deal with people who are uncomfortable to deal with and yet keep going in your spiritual practices, in your relationship to God and your Spiritual Growth.
This duality brings inner connection and inner communion. God is with you all the time. It is most possible to be connected spiritually all the time, and yet be balanced in the physical world.
It is wise to not go overboard. Please realize that balance is the way to grow spiritually higher and faster.
Sometimes when people start on the Spiritual Path they tend to shun everything in the physical. This is a handicap to growing.
Too much meditation does not bring balance. You are physical beings in a physical world. You must deal with the reality of the physical world. This is why working keeps people grounded. This is also why doing things in the physical, whether it is house cleaning or lawn mowing, painting, washing dishes, taking a shower, working on the computer, etc. is
grounding.
This grounding brings integration and balance into the spiritual levels. The right amount of grounding brings wonderful balance and helps to bring one higher and faster to the spiritual levels that are being sought in the first place.
To be a part of the world but not of it, it is very important to stay grounded by not getting so unbalanced and detached that you are not residing on the planet.
Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You
Wednesday
MONEY OR HAPPINESS: WHICH IS MORE IMPORTANT?
By J.D. Roth, Bloomberg
When we focus on monetary goals, we run the risk of becoming trapped on the 'hedonic treadmill'
Here's the opening paragraph from my forthcoming book, Your Money: The Missing Manual. It's the sum of everything I've learned during my five year journey to get rich slowly:
"You don't want to be rich and you want to be happy. Many people mistakenly believe that the former leads to the latter. While it's certainly true that money can help you achieve your goals, provide for your future, and make life more enjoyable, merely having money doesn't guarantee happiness."
Many of us (including me) get wrapped up in the belief that having more money is the key to a better life. But it's not. The key to a better life is increased happiness. For some people, that does mean more money. But according to the research Tal Ben-Shahar shares in his book Happier, most of us would be better served by:
Creating rituals around the things we love to do.
Expressing gratitude for the good things in our lives.
Setting meaningful goals that reflect our values and interests.
Playing to our strengths instead of dwelling on weaknesses.
Simplifying our lives and not just the Stuff, but the time.
We're more likely to lead happy lives by putting these principles into practice than by getting another raise at work and especially if the increased income would only lead to increased spending. When we focus on monetary goals, we run the risk of becoming trapped on the "hedonic treadmill" (also known as lifestyle inflation), working harder and harder to make more and more money. This does not lead to happiness.
SOMETIMES MONEY CAN BUY HAPPINESS
Wealth and happiness aren't mutually exclusive, of course. According to financial writer Jonathan Clements, financial stability improves well-being in three ways:
If you have money, you don't have to worry about it. By living below your means, you can obtain a degree of financial control even if you aren't rich. Avoiding debt gives you options.
Money can give you the freedom to pursue your passions. What is it you want out of life? What gives you a sense of purpose? These are the sorts of things you want to pursue in retirement. Better yet, try to structure your career around something you love to do.
Money can buy you time with friends and family. In fact, Clements says, true wealth comes from relationships, not from dollars and cents. Social capital is worth more than financial capital.
Money is a tool. As with any tool, a skilled craftsman can use it to build something amazing: A meaningful life filled with family and friends. But if you're not careful, if you don't have a plan, the life you construct with your money can be a tenuous thing and even dangerous.
LESSONS LEARNED
Studies show that the pursuit of money is less likely to bring personal fulfillment than focusing on self-improvement and, especially, close relationships with others. Here are a handful of lessons I've learned during my research into the connection between money and wealth. I didn't come up with any of these ideas; they're products of actual research into what makes us happy:
People who are materialistic tend to be less happy than those who aren't. If your aim is to have more money and more Stuff, you'll be less content than others whose goals are built around relationships or mental/spiritual fulfillment. (Because I'm a perma-geek, I'm always reminded of what Princess Leia says to Han Solo in Star Wars: "IF MONEY IS ALL THAT YOU LOVE, THEN THAT'S WHAT YOU'LL RECEIVE.")
Oversaving does not lead to happiness. While it's important to save for the future (and to cope with current emergencies), research shows that oversaving can actually have a negative impact on your quality of life. If you're meeting your goals for saving, it's okay to spend some on the things that make you happy.
Experiences tend to make us happier than material things. We have different reactions to the money we spend on experiences and the money we spend on Stuff: When we spend on experiences, our perceptions are magnified (meaning we feel happier or sadder than when we spend on Stuff), and the feelings tend to linger longer. And since most of our experiences are positive, spending on activities instead of material goods generally makes us happier.
When we lower our expectations, our happiness increases. High expectations come when we compare ourselves to others or when we're bombarded by advertising.
We come to accept the things we see on TV as "normal", and because we don't have these things, we feel inadequate. Our expectations rise, and before long we're caught up in lifestyle inflation. But if we can consciously manage our expectations and both financial and otherwise and we can increase our sense of well-being.
Really, there's only one way to ever be satisfied with how much money you have: You must define how much is Enough. True happiness comes when you learn to be content with what you have. If you don't take the time to figure out what Enough means to you, you'll always be unhappy with your financial situation.
HOW MUCH IS ENOUGH?
Enough looks different to each of us. It's not just different amounts of money, but different types of wealth. For me, Enough is having my home paid off and cash set aside to let me buy books and go out to dinner with my wife once in a while. For you, Enough may mean living in a small apartment but owning a boat and having the freedom to sail for months at a time.
To find Enough, you have to set goals. You have to look inside to find your values. It can take months or years to get clear on what makes a meaningful life for you, but after you've done this, you can make choices that reflect your priorities.
After all, that's why you're doing this. You're not building wealth just so you can bathe in buckets of cash. You're building wealth so you don't have to worry about money, so you can pursue your passions, and so you can spend time with your family and friends.
Remember, my friends: True wealth isn't about money. True wealth is about relationships, about good health, and about continued self-improvement. True wealth is about happiness. Ultimately, it's more important to be happy than it is to be rich.
Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You
When we focus on monetary goals, we run the risk of becoming trapped on the 'hedonic treadmill'
Here's the opening paragraph from my forthcoming book, Your Money: The Missing Manual. It's the sum of everything I've learned during my five year journey to get rich slowly:
"You don't want to be rich and you want to be happy. Many people mistakenly believe that the former leads to the latter. While it's certainly true that money can help you achieve your goals, provide for your future, and make life more enjoyable, merely having money doesn't guarantee happiness."
Many of us (including me) get wrapped up in the belief that having more money is the key to a better life. But it's not. The key to a better life is increased happiness. For some people, that does mean more money. But according to the research Tal Ben-Shahar shares in his book Happier, most of us would be better served by:
Creating rituals around the things we love to do.
Expressing gratitude for the good things in our lives.
Setting meaningful goals that reflect our values and interests.
Playing to our strengths instead of dwelling on weaknesses.
Simplifying our lives and not just the Stuff, but the time.
We're more likely to lead happy lives by putting these principles into practice than by getting another raise at work and especially if the increased income would only lead to increased spending. When we focus on monetary goals, we run the risk of becoming trapped on the "hedonic treadmill" (also known as lifestyle inflation), working harder and harder to make more and more money. This does not lead to happiness.
SOMETIMES MONEY CAN BUY HAPPINESS
Wealth and happiness aren't mutually exclusive, of course. According to financial writer Jonathan Clements, financial stability improves well-being in three ways:
If you have money, you don't have to worry about it. By living below your means, you can obtain a degree of financial control even if you aren't rich. Avoiding debt gives you options.
Money can give you the freedom to pursue your passions. What is it you want out of life? What gives you a sense of purpose? These are the sorts of things you want to pursue in retirement. Better yet, try to structure your career around something you love to do.
Money can buy you time with friends and family. In fact, Clements says, true wealth comes from relationships, not from dollars and cents. Social capital is worth more than financial capital.
Money is a tool. As with any tool, a skilled craftsman can use it to build something amazing: A meaningful life filled with family and friends. But if you're not careful, if you don't have a plan, the life you construct with your money can be a tenuous thing and even dangerous.
LESSONS LEARNED
Studies show that the pursuit of money is less likely to bring personal fulfillment than focusing on self-improvement and, especially, close relationships with others. Here are a handful of lessons I've learned during my research into the connection between money and wealth. I didn't come up with any of these ideas; they're products of actual research into what makes us happy:
People who are materialistic tend to be less happy than those who aren't. If your aim is to have more money and more Stuff, you'll be less content than others whose goals are built around relationships or mental/spiritual fulfillment. (Because I'm a perma-geek, I'm always reminded of what Princess Leia says to Han Solo in Star Wars: "IF MONEY IS ALL THAT YOU LOVE, THEN THAT'S WHAT YOU'LL RECEIVE.")
Oversaving does not lead to happiness. While it's important to save for the future (and to cope with current emergencies), research shows that oversaving can actually have a negative impact on your quality of life. If you're meeting your goals for saving, it's okay to spend some on the things that make you happy.
Experiences tend to make us happier than material things. We have different reactions to the money we spend on experiences and the money we spend on Stuff: When we spend on experiences, our perceptions are magnified (meaning we feel happier or sadder than when we spend on Stuff), and the feelings tend to linger longer. And since most of our experiences are positive, spending on activities instead of material goods generally makes us happier.
When we lower our expectations, our happiness increases. High expectations come when we compare ourselves to others or when we're bombarded by advertising.
We come to accept the things we see on TV as "normal", and because we don't have these things, we feel inadequate. Our expectations rise, and before long we're caught up in lifestyle inflation. But if we can consciously manage our expectations and both financial and otherwise and we can increase our sense of well-being.
Really, there's only one way to ever be satisfied with how much money you have: You must define how much is Enough. True happiness comes when you learn to be content with what you have. If you don't take the time to figure out what Enough means to you, you'll always be unhappy with your financial situation.
HOW MUCH IS ENOUGH?
Enough looks different to each of us. It's not just different amounts of money, but different types of wealth. For me, Enough is having my home paid off and cash set aside to let me buy books and go out to dinner with my wife once in a while. For you, Enough may mean living in a small apartment but owning a boat and having the freedom to sail for months at a time.
To find Enough, you have to set goals. You have to look inside to find your values. It can take months or years to get clear on what makes a meaningful life for you, but after you've done this, you can make choices that reflect your priorities.
After all, that's why you're doing this. You're not building wealth just so you can bathe in buckets of cash. You're building wealth so you don't have to worry about money, so you can pursue your passions, and so you can spend time with your family and friends.
Remember, my friends: True wealth isn't about money. True wealth is about relationships, about good health, and about continued self-improvement. True wealth is about happiness. Ultimately, it's more important to be happy than it is to be rich.
Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You
The Swing Set
Mr. Jones wanted to build his son a swing set. He slaved away each evening and grew tired and irritable causing concern for his wife.
“You’re working so hard,” she said. “Wasn’t our neighbor, Mr. Williams, a carpenter when he was young? Couldn’t you ask him for help?”
“But Mr. Williams has done enough work in his life. I wouldn’t want to bother him.”
So Mr. Jones kept working, until finally the swing set was finished, and he set it up in the backyard. A few days later, Mr. Jones went outside and found Mr. Williams gazing at the swing set.
“Hi, Mr. Williams. How do you like the new swing set?”
“Oh, it’s wonderful. I built something like that for my son many years ago.” His eyes looked sad, and Mr. Jones remembered that Mr. Williams’ son had moved far away for a job.
“I wish you had told me you were building it,” Mr. Williams said. “Your son is a good boy. I would have loved to help you do something nice for him.”
They chatted for another minute, and Mr. Jones went inside, realizing for the first time that Mr. Williams was lonely.
Reflections
This story tells us we shouldn’t be afraid to ask for help. Many would appreciate the opportunity to help if only they were given that option. An act of kindness is a joy to both the giver and the receiver.
So why is it so difficult to ask for help?
Probably we don’t want to be seen as a burden, out of control or incompetent.
Asking for help also makes us vulnerable to criticism and unwelcome advice. What if Mr Jones hadn’t asked for help because he thought that Mr Williams would criticize his swing set design and try to change it because of his knowledge of carpentry?
On the other hand it can be just as difficult to offer help for much the same reasons.
We don’t want anyone to feel that they are a burden, out of control or incompetent. Assuming Mr Williams knew Mr Jones was having trouble building the swing set he may have been hesitant to offer help because he didn’t want to seem interfering.
What a dilemma!
When someone asks for help only give it if you truly can. Recognize the courage it took them to ask. Never agree to do something that will cause you to feel resentful and put upon. Help them find alternatives instead. Saying “no” will also encourage them to ask again if they need help with something else. They know you will say no if you can’t and if you do say yes, they won’t feel they’re a burden.
On the other hand, never be afraid to ask for help when you need it. You never know how reaching out will affect the other person unless you reach out. If they can truly help your burdens will be relieved. If you feel more burdened and resentful it could be they are not helping at all, but trying to manipulate and control you.
Being able to give and receive help is a gift to the giver and the receiver. I think The Swing Set story tells us that asking for help or offering someone help is definitely worth the risk because of the potential rewards giving and receiving help is capable of giving.
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